Can Anybody Feel Me?

I keep losing my way but at least I’m still alive, still breathing. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Would I do it all again? I think I might. I am not angry, I’m not even shocked. I guess I just expected it all along and kept going; kept hoping.

I am sitting next to a bunch of half dead people on the old familiar train. They can’t look me in the eye. They have lost their hearts but they are still breathing. They are still breathing! Am I like them? Just another dead-eyed passenger? I am searching through the crowd waiting, watching. Will someone look back, meet my gaze? I gotta get off this thing.

Walk with singular purpose, hips swaying but no one is there to notice–eyes fixed on the lever. PULL IT! PULL IT! Stop this thing, get off this train! The clanging becomes an overwhelming symphony and I smile. I am nothing like these petrified and scared people. I am stopping this thing! I am getting off.

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H a l t i n g ,
S l o w i n g . . .
S t o p p i n g . . .
I am still alive, still alive!
Breathe.