Wish that I could hold on to this feeling, rising inside me sublimely, blissful. I feel high, brilliant, pure light, perfection. Turned on, alive, radiant. I feel as if I am where I need to be and I don’t want to lose this heat. Need to hold on to this moment, want to hold on, grasp it and never let it go.
I haven’t written in a long time, have been bidding my time, letting inspiration guide me. Don’t feel like forcing the words. Why? I feel so loved, so in tune with the universe wish that I could share this in some other way. Light, brilliant. Darkness, deep. Everything and nothing, the reassurance of desire, passion beating drums inside my soul. So much energy I feel like running. Can’t sit still.
So I am 34. Birthday could not have been better spent than in the company of my family who showed up en force. I ate cake like 3 days in a row. I love my friends and family I really do. I am so blessed to have them in my life! For my birthday Rob and I went to Belize!
Last week we were in the jungle. The greens were so green, the blues so blindingly perfect. Ocean and thickets filling my soul. Belize was like a dream, a week stretched out deliciously into an eternity. I needed it. Needed to recharge, to rediscover closeness. We climbed jungle trails to hidden waterfalls. I can still feel the beating of the water on my back, the outpouring of emotion I felt as I closed my eyes beneath the waterfall, letting it just wash over me. We traveled deep into Mayan caves, flooded, where the remains of godly offerings lay untouched. Bones, skulls, souls who gave their lives willingly. The energy was awe inspiring. We climbed El Castillo, hearing legends of the stone maiden, the ghostly form of a long-haired maiden who led a hunter into the jungle to discover the ruins. Down with the Sickness was blasting on my headphones as I gazed upon the outstretched jungle all the way to Guatemala. Breathtaking. I could almost feel what it would be like to be a priest looking down, gazing at the stars from the very top. We dove, deep, nearly a hundred feet. I discovered a turtle hiding in a cave, a dolphin! He played with us, just showed up, so close I could touch him! Maybe things are just slightly brighter for me, it’s as if places vibrate with energy, leaving me quivering with sensation.
Eduardo led us through the darkness, sometimes crawling, sometimes swimming, or squeezing. He painted my face with iron oxide he rubbed out of a cave stone. There I was the Mayan high priestess, soaked to the bone, dirt clinging to me, trudging through this cave. Glamour be damned. Give me something to sacrifice!