Predestination

I received a very interesting e-mail last night from someone who not only took the time to read all the content on my site, but who also commented on a lot of different things that he found “noteworthy.” His comments were thought provoking in the sense that he broke down my words a sentence at a time…quoting me if you will, and then replied with his own ideas. Deconstructing Mabe. *grin* It was intriguing to see my own thought patterns taken out of context. It gave me some distance and it allowed me for a brief moment to step outside of myself and look in. Below is a quote from the e-mail in reference to that page I posted so long ago about death and our destiny. I am looking forward to meeting this person in the near future (we are scheduled to meet later on this month in an AD&D game–yes, I play D&D and it’s not Satanic!). It is always good to find other intelligent life in the universe, it is especially gratifying when it comes as a complete surprise. :) Thanks for the feedback.

“Death disguises it’s plan well, but it’s not completely hidden. Did you ever notice that when it makes it’s presence known, life evolves to a new level for those left to witness it? I have lost good friends to it’s grasp but, amidst my sorrow, springs a new determination to not so much “cheat” Death, but to spend each day in the solace of knowing that you have spent your gift wisely…Death trains us to be prepared every second of your life.” –ASMODIUS

Predestination: The idea that no matter what we do it will not make a difference in the way our lives are destined to unfold. The idea that God has a set plan for everyone, and we are powerless against our natures. Who knows? Maybe everything we do is part of some bizarre cosmic plan. Lately I’ve been feeling like coincidences don’t exist. If being is believing then I’m a believer. If belief equals enlightenment, then I’m enlightened. If enlightenment equals awareness than I’m aware, and if awareness equals living then I am living! I am alive in every sense of the word. Inspired. In love with love…with all those silly storybook concepts of romance. The tragedy fades further and further into the backdrop. I have escaped the proscenium stage of my barrenness.

So I walk on the sand of a new shore, letting my hair flow freely over bare shoulders, hidden for so long. It feels so incredibly liberating. I’ve been nursing this guilt for too long. I feel giddy with my new self knowledge…open to new ideas, expectant to see how the second act will unfold. Black birds fly up from the crags that have been my prison flooding the darkest chambers of my heart with hope. I want to give myself to you…

My mouth waters with the thought of you. With the slices of fruit that we will feed each other…skin against skin in the candlelight. Our breaths becoming one, until we wither…only to bloom again. Your eyes are like reflective pools and I see my future there. So many things that I want to say…

The sublime and intangible stares me in the face. I am moved by beauty. She comes to me, bejeweled, singing songs…red ribbons in the wind. I feel myself open, the sound of swords being forged, fire stirring, the cries of men as they celebrate. The battle has been won.

I am free. Free as the wind. Everyone’s and no one’s. I am finally

soaring, like you said that I would. I wish that you could be here,

in my arms, my hair entangled in your fingers, our lips whispering

desperate truths–the columns of our temple, the ferocity of the

winds, the mercurial howling of the wolves…

We will be one…

[learn_more caption=”What’s New?”] To the left is a second illustration I designed for Trinity. Behold: The Plastic Surgeon. I think this illustration could use some more work, but I was tired and it was late. I have to get over my perfectionist tendencies. Anyway I think it’s effective. I was talking to Zak today over Yahoo instant messenger. He was having a pretty good day. US ENLIGHTENED PEOPLE *LOL* hey…at least we’re trying to get in touch with our inner selves (that sounded like one of those Ameritrade Commercials.) Well, I’m actually really inspired today. Enjoy ^_^[/learn_more]